Saturday, July 12, 2014

Wanted: my sanity back

No one tells you how stressful planning a wedding is.

I mean everyone tells you but they don't tell you what kind of stress it will be.

After much prayer and anger and tears and frustration and disappointment and laughter and throwing in the towel and picking the towel back up again and midnight snacks and Disney movies and fights (ironically none with my fiance), I have been at this for three months and still don't really have anything concrete.

Because I have an inherent problem with needing to please those that are closest to me, I tend to change my mind, not stick up for myself, question my self-worth self-adequacy (?)... to a point where I don't really make important decisions unless every single person is on board.

Everyone means well with their opinions and concerns and  and I know this but when it comes down to it, I'm going to be the one people come up to at the wedding and ask, "Allison, why is your wedding in the alley behind your house??"

On one hand, I'm very independent. Growing up with four brothers and no sisters molded me into someone satisfied to sit inside and play cards while the boys played rough. I have a great "calm in the middle of the storm" face. I'm awesome under any kind of pressure at work or school. I'm a great follower. And leaders need followers. I'm great at being the leader's cheerleader.

But on the other hand, I'm completely dependent on my family. I have no idea what I'm doing with this. I've been thrown into a leader's position and I don't know if I really want it. No amount of reading etiquette on weddings has helped me through this. I thought this part of my life was supposed to be wonderful and romantic and exciting.

My sister-in-law told me last night, "every couple, at some point during the engagement, go through a phase of 'let's just elope.'"

Well, if everyone has gone through this, I am so sorry to every bride I never helped out. I'm sorry I didn't plan a spa day for the two of us or throw a party for you to just sit there and let everyone tell you how your hair falling out and your extra water weight looks great on you.

Well I think I've complained enough. If you need me, you can find me behind a stack of bridal magazines crying for the 12th time that I don't know how to pick the right forks that will make everyone happy.

-Allison, bride to be, seriously considering creating a foundation for the sanity of brides.

PS. I've looked at the alley in the back and it's booked that day. Trash pick-up and tree trimming.

1 comment:

  1. I love you Allison! Your wedding is going to be awesome. Praying for you and your fancy word!

    ReplyDelete