So close but not that close

85 MORE DAYS, blares one of my many wedding apps. Summer is (technically) gone and the autumn months are all I have before my early January extravaganza.

Visions of votive candles and wedding favors dance in my head.

I dream (almost nightly) of unmailed invitations, cancelled caterers and last minute plus-ones.

I am so close to being done with this whole beautiful mess (the knot newsletters are getting scary) and yet I can't help feeling like I'm not even close to having everything finished.

I have things pending that won't allow me to move forward until they are taken care of. So I feel like in a sort of limbo waiting on other people. THIS IS WHY I AM A CONTROL FREAK, Not because other people can't do it right, but because other people have other stuff to do. I do not. This is my sole priority in life right now. 

I think grooms made up dessert tasting as a way to talk brides down from the proverbial ledge...

After mid-January I'll go back to being a normal person, I promise.

Here come the dreams!

Last night I had a "nightmare" that everyone in my wedding party was late so Drew had to walk me down the aisle. The band played the wrong songs, people showed up and I had to start over, and I couldn't find my something blue!

I've heard this will happen...

I'm hoping naively that this was the first and last of them.

I'm now writing down all these strange possibilities and the counter options on how to solve them.

I WILL CONQUER!!

Can someone else make decisions for me?

I have "bridal block".

I'm sure that's a thing.

Whenever I make a decision on what I want for the wedding, then go to pay for it, the amount is so much more than I usually spend on things that I rear back on my haunches and snap the credit card away from the counter (figuratively, of course, I'm not a rude shopper) 

It's mostly window shopping anyway right now but everything seems so expensive for just one day! 

I will say that Pinterest has jaded me into thinking my wedding will never be perfect without the perfect cake, the gorgeous rows of lights, the antique-looking everything, and the cute cutout signs displaying where cards should go, where the dance floor is, and what side you should sit on.

What did people do before Pinterest??

I guess I am just having buyer's remorse before I even put the payment down.

Emergency Bag

Maybe I'm new and naive about being a bride, but I'll tell you one thing: I'm a pro at being a bridesmaid.

No, really. I'm awesome. I've got the walk down, the pretty smile, and best of all, the emergency bag.

"What's that?" you ask...

I'll show you!

1. Safety pins (can't tell you how many times we've used these)
2. Toothpicks
3. Pads and Tampons (cuz, well, you know)
4. Q-Tips
5. Hand Sanitizer
6. Hair Spray, hair pins, hair tie
7. Tums, Pain Killers, Vitamins
8. Protein Bars!
9. Candy (Even the officiant needed a sugar rush the last wedding I was in)
10. Pens
11. Lotion
12. Sunscreen
13. scissors, nail file, nail clippers, tweezers
14. Mirror (but what is better is you constantly telling the bride how gorgeous she looks
15. Chapstick and Lip gloss and back-up makeup
16. Batteries
17. Phone Charger
18. Tissues
19. Mints



If you have any more let me know and I'll add it to my bag!

Wedding Photographers

Question- How do you feel about your wedding photographer?

My question is sensitive for a few reasons:

1. My photographer will probably read this post.
2. I know of several people, although many years have passed since their wedding, who are still really upset with theirs and the photos that came to pass during their special day.
3. I'm a little jaded with photographs of "the perfect day" and am not sure how much I care about having them.


I know that in 40 years, I will want to have something to show my grand kids about that crazy event that ended the war in Iraq and rendered all weddings illegal in 45 states and closed down social media for 36 hours straight... but I'd rather just retell it in my animated, wild-eyed way, making them imagine it with their minds instead of seeing them on yellowed old computer screens we found in the basement among the pile of iPhones, toilets before they were all remote controlled, and those things we called books.

Linen? or Lace?

Finding the perfect wedding dress was the last thing on my mind today.

If you know me at all, you'll know that I would have been happy walking down the aisle in sweats. But to make everyone happy, I decided to keep the surprise appointment my almost sister-in-law made for me and try on a few. I only wanted to get an idea of what would look good and what shape fit me best.

There are so many shapes!

Ball Gown, Mermaid, Fit and Flair, A-line... just to name a few that I remember.

After trying the first one on though, it was like magic. I was suddenly a bride. I know they say "you'll feel it" but I didn't believe it. Suddenly I had gone from the nerd in glasses to a bride in white.

I won't tell you if I found the one today but I will say I was blown away by the feeling you get in one of those gowns. I was really a princess for a few minutes.